2 Alpes Apres Ski Report: 8th December 2011

The usual hotspots are already up and running, with a few decent nights already under their belts, and a few newcomers dipping a toe into the shark infested waters of resort nightlife as well.

The ever-popular Smithy’s Tavern got off to a flying start with snowboard events and party nights over school holidays at the beginning of November, and has been open since the beginning of the season with the usual mix of promos, DJs and live music. Their upstairs restaurant is already open for busines as well, serving steaks, grilled fish dishes, Tex Mex and some disgustingly huge burgers (I recommend the fillet steak with blue cheese sauce followed by vanilla crunch for dessert – ice cream, crushed Maltesers and toffee sauce, what’s not to like?)

The Minibar next door, usually a chilled refuge form the mayhem which is Smithy’s on a busy night, opened last week with its first Super Saturday of the season, featuring resort regular, DJ Fat Trip. Look out for more of the same as things get properly under way over the festive season.

Across the main road, the Polar Bear is also open, offering a cosy atmosphere thanks to its snug booths and central wood stove. The Boardroom opposite has resolutely stayed open all through interseason, providing a social refuge for an odd combination of dready French seasonnaires, earnest-looking laptop-toters (free wifi? don’t mind if I do) and a motley collection of the resort’s dogs hosted by the bar’s own hound, which has the charming name of F***. Seriously. I always thought the beast’s name was Phoque, until I asked someone why it was called Seal and was told that no, it’s name was …….. er, well that’s probably ‘nuff said really.

Opposite the Boardroom the Secret Bar is due to open on Decmber 17th, with a full facelift and an all new team. Several years of management by a large organisation which should probably remain nameless (bit like the Boardroom’s dog) saw the place slide steadily downhill, but the bar’s owners aim to take it upmarket this season and re-establish it in its former position as one of resort’s most popular spots. Regular patrons will be pleased to know that there’s an excellent chance of encountering clean, functional toilets in there this year. Apparently they plan to pitch the music at a level such that you can hear people talk without them having to scream down your earhole as well – a mad plan I admit, but one which just might catch on.

Further along the road the boulangerie has been converted into a coffee shop and snack bar, courtesy of the owners of the Raisin d’Ours restaurant across the street, who also seem to have stolen one of the Diable telecabines as a piece of décor. I know we’re replacing the lift, but that doesn’t mean you can all start cannibalising bits of it, you know. Next door to the infamous Rhumerie (flavoured rums sold by the bottle, lethal) is Dracula’s Castle, another new venture and one about which I know nothing whatsoever because they’re still in the final throes of decorating and wouldn’t answer the door. But with a name like that it has to be worth a look just for the cheese value.

At the other end of town Smokey Joe’s is already open every evening and busy hosting Neilson's staff training sessions during the day. A cunning plan on their part, since a day of corporate Powerpoint presentations with a side order of role playing and silly games is guaranteed to send every traumatised trainee straight into the open arms of the bar staff. The big screen is once again in place, making Smokey’s the best place in resort for watching the footy most nights of the week and Six Nations rugby later on in the season.

Opposite the supermarket, the Windsor Pub, like the Boardroom, has been open most of the interseason. The bar boasts an enormous range of speciality beers, more whiskies than you’d find in most Scottish pubs, and fabulous champagne cocktails topped with an entire fruit basket. All your five a day in a oner plus some combination of champers, liqueur and fruit juice. Perfect. The Windsor also put on a rather competent live blues band during half term opening, a welcome change from the usual comination of dubstep and shouty criminals. If they carry on with that and the cocktails I might have to get out more this season.